Seriously Funky Quotes :-)

There are many ... but they are all cute...

• Someone is boring me… I think it is me. – Dylan Thomas
• Life is like mail sometimes you just don't get it
• I say no to drugs they just don't listen
• The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
• If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
• The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
• There are 10 kinds of people…Those who understand Binary; and those who Don’t.!!
• Live everyday as if it's your last day on earth, one day it will come true.
• It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest
• TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself.
• The beatings will continue until morale improves.
• Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
• We waste time, so you don't have to.
• A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
• When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
• INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
• Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
• No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. - Michael Pritchard
• I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. -- Dave Barry
• I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people
• Quit smoking! Take air pollution straight.
• Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15.
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
• When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure he isn't doing the same thing
• Don't follow me. I m lost too.........
• Get fired - No one can call you a Quitter !
• They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.
• It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
• Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.
• Artificial Intelligence is no match to Natural Stupidity
• How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on
• Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
• Smile - it makes people wonder what you are upto
• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
• I don't break the rules. I merely test their elasticity
• Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
• When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. -mark twain
• Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism
• I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
• If you can laugh at yourself, you've got a really sick sense of humour.
• If most people said what's on their minds, they'd be speechless
• We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
• There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
• There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
• Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• "I have nothing to declare but my genius "---Oscar Wilde at NewYork Customs
• In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular
• To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human; in fact it is downright natural
• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
• Sure, I'm crazy. But that used to mean something. Now, everybody's crazy.
• There are two kinds of person in the world. Who's who and who’s he.
• It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.
• Of course UNIX is user-friendly; it's just choosy about its friends!
• Originality is the art of concealing your source
• Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you
• When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried
• A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it sure will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
• Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!
• Wisdom eventually comes to all of us. Someday it might even be your turn.
• You are proof that God has a sense of humour.
• Never be afraid to try something new. Remember professionals built the Titanic…Amateurs built the Arc.
• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former -Albert Einstein
• He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
• Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.-Douglas Adams
• Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
• In life, it's not who you know that's important, its how your wife found out.-- Joey Adams
• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
• Nothing is foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool!
• To iterate is human, to recurse is divine