Last sunday's "The Hindu"-> Open Page featured an article about Women Losing independence after marriage. It struck a nerve as I was discussing about something quite similar just a few days back.
The example the author had quoted was this. Her well educated and well employed colleague was engaged to a guy abroad and when she wanted to go out with some friends for a party, she called him for permission and he refused. The girl did not go.I bet the thought in most of your minds is "So what?"... right?Do you think if the guy had been in the girl's place, he would have even thought of getting her permission?
We were sitting at the canteen eating lunch and in the course of our discussion my friend casually commented, how his sister hated cooking but after marriage she has no say but to cook. Everybody noddded their head like it was something common (and sadly it is)
I know this lady who got a great job offer in India and her husband got one abroad. There was no question of her taking up her offer, instead she quit her job to follow her husband. Sounds Familiar???
A girl married off even before completing her studies and in the family way, Pronto!, despite her wishes. Why? "Its God's wish, what can we do?" (I had to bite my tongue to not say anything for that excuse)
After waiting the longest time, this friend of mine got a chance to go abroad. She was quite excited about it and she did leave too. Hardly four months later she was forced to come back ... her husband was not sent by his company and he was not ready to go on a dependent Visa.
In so many interviews with Kiran Bedi, they ask her how her family and husband have adjusted to her work and if they approve of it. Have you ever had the same questions asked of a male policeman?
I can go on quoting more examples...
Yes! I do know of a few cases (a very few instances) where the guy has adjusted to the girl's requirement. But in these cases the men are so feted for being so understanding (and don't mistake me, I am real glad to know and see such men do exist), while when the same is done by the girl it is taken for granted.
While there is a lot of talk about equality and modern thoughts, traditions and out dated values still bind us very tightly, stopping us from making much progress . :-(