Friday, August 20, 2010

Solitude


A state of mind than a physical situation, that is either dreadful or Joyful


There was a time when I had to spend a weekend alone in my apartment. I was new to the place and having never been alone before, was frightened and bored out of my wits. I did not step out of my studio for almost 24 hours and became so claustrophobic I was climbing walls. The loneliness was killing me.

A few months later, my two room mates went out for a weekend and I had the whole apartment to myself. What bliss!!!! I had movies to see, books to read, friends to chat, dreams to dream, fantasies to weave and always places to go, if I wanted to. But I was home alone and loved every minute of it.

The two situations were essentially the same, but what different reactions.

A school friend once told me that she used to talk to her bedroom walls when she was feeling lonely. She was an only child to yuppy parents.

Have you ever felt the bite of loneliness? A feeling you are alone ... even in a crowd, even amongst friends, parents or relatives. Not being sure that if you share with your best friend will they empathize or say some callous statement and brush you off. Not being sure if you want to even share with anyone at all. Wondering if someone would understand what you are feeling . Would screaming help? Feel like you are in a bubble and see no way of breaking out? Feel like everyone is passing you by but no one is able to see you?

On the flip side, Have you felt the beauty of solitude? A time just for you. Someplace/time no one else can impinge on. Where you can fill your lungs with fresh air along with the beauty of life. Listening to music, thinking deep thoughts , reminiscing happy memories , reading, writing or just plain lounging.
I just love the clear night sky, when I have the lights all switched off and just have to tilt my head to see, out of the window, the moon waiting to wish me good night.

मै और मेरी तन्हाई अक्सर ये बातें करते ... मै और मेरी तन्हाई


2 comments:

sanjay-shettennavar said...

Nice write up. True, solitude can be as pleasurable as it can be miserable!

Sanjana said...

@ Sanjay: Thanks.