Thursday, February 03, 2011

What is marriage?

I have always thought marriage meant a partner to share my life with. Some one to love, fight. and generally belong.

But I am wondering if I am being very naive, even down right stupid.

Are these the same things men look for in their wives? I am not so sure.
The kind of expectations I have heard from the guys I met, makes me feel mad and sad.

One guy was shocked that I even had a say on choosing my life partner. He wanted me to fall at his and his parents feet and kept giving me hints all the time to do so.
He even told me stories about how very well educated and working women served their hardly educated and non-working husbands with great cheerfulness and live happily ever after.

Another wanted to me to quit my job, he was earning enough for both of us and I should learn to run a house within my husband's means.

Another's parents said that their son had no training in the kitchen what so ever, but could I cook for 10 people if they suddenly dropped by.The guy was sitting next to them nodding his head. These people were also shocked that I might actually want to talk to their son alone.

I really didn't know such archiac people still lived on earth. Are the guys looking for a submissive,cost free slave/servant/cook or a wife to share their life with?

What shocks me even more was that some of my relatives, women, just a few years older than me, do not see anything wrong with this kind of expectations. They think I am being too picky for not having said yes.

While this kinda talk sometimes makes me question my own judgement. I have a set of great parents and friends who are solidly behind me. Thank the good Lord!


Anonymous said...



RS said...

Didnt they tell you that you should only wear sarees going forward - because thats what their "adults" want AND what about you giving all your money you've saved from your trips abroad to the guy - so he can buy his own house? After all you would be living in it na?

- Yeah heard these too... X-( Pathetic how archaic their thinking still is...

Sanjana said...

@ RS: I have had ppl ask me to wear sari too :-)